Kingsbury.

I have had my passion for reading sparked again as of late. I have a tendency to go in phases. I love to read anything and everything one minute and then a few weeks later I cannot seem to get past the first few chapters of a book.

I am a sucker for a good romance. I love what are sometime corny books, but I more then anything love books where you can really get to know and connect with characters. Books where when you are reading about a persons life you feel like you are there beside them, like they are a member of your family or a best friend. Therefore I have a tendency to fall in love with series. The sisterhood of the traveling pants. Twilight. Harry Potter. Books where you do not need to say goodbye to beloved characters after only one book. 

Karen Kingsbury's Baxter series books have hit every point of reading that I love. They are a series, a very long series, but it does not get borring. You want to keep turning the page and finding out what lies ahead for a wonderful God fearing, family loving, small town family. I have fallen in love with the characters. I have cried with them and laughed with them and have even been encouraged by them. I love them.

So if you are looking for something to fall in love with. I highly recommend picking up a book by Karen Kingsbury. Actually, I would recommend starting at the beginning, but thats just me. Seriously, check it out.

Start here. If you are like me, you will NOT regret it!

Accountability.

I have always been the person on the outside looking in, or that is how it has always felt. I had a lot of 'friends' but they were always just more then acquaintances to be honest. I always had people around me, but they were not always people that I could share my innermost thoughts and feelings.So the idea of finding someone that I can be accountable with, someone that I can share these thoughts, my opinion and that I can trust to give me their honest opinion and help is a hard idea for me.

As I have grown up, as I have left school and the required people to hang out with and study with, very few of my friendships have lasted and  to be honest that breaks my heart a little. As we have gone our own ways, started to get married and starting jobs across the country is has proven hard to keep in touch. And after returning home, I realize that some of those people I once thought were great friends, are actually little more than acquaintances.

So this brings me to accountability. We discussed the topic a few weeks ago at small group bible study. About the benefits of having someone you can talk to and go to for advice and guidance. It made me think, to be honest, I have not had someone like that is a long time. My best friend since childhood, one of the people who is influential in helping me become the person I am today, the one who plays a major role in my walk with God, drifted apart during high school and have spoke very little since. Then, my best friend to this day, another wonderful woman who throughout high school was a role model in my life and an ever encouragement, walked away from her faith when we were in university. I don't think anyone else's decision on something so personal has ever effected me so greatly as that did. She was the one who I would say is the closest I have ever had to someone to be accountable with. The one who would guide me back to the straight and narrow, who could quote scripture and who I could always count on to answer my 'why' questions. Our friendship thankfully survived the major change, however it is not quite the same. Yes I can still go to her with everything, yes she is always there to listen, but it's different.

Throughout university I was blessed to be a part of Campus for Christ, I was the leader of a Discipleship group (girls bible study group) and had two years of one on one and then two on one discipling with a wonderful women of God. We dove into things about our relationship with Christ and how we can better reach others, but it was rare that we talked about those things at the core. I am thankful for growing closer to my discipler, and I am thankful for the friendship we have even to this day, but again, I would say it is just that, only friendship.

When I think of accountability it actually hurts. I don't know how to bridge the gaps between me and those around me. I don't know how to take fringe friendships and make them something more. I continuously feel like 'who would want to', or 'they have other people'. So I always wonder if there are those like me who at the depths of my sole crave friendship. I want the real kind that we can talk about anything, that I know I am not bothering them if I call because I need to talk. A friendship where I can be there for them and they are there for me no matter what. Heck, most of the time I would take even just having someone that I am not afraid to invite over to hang out or to ask to go for coffee with. I lack confidence that people would actually want to do something and therefore am never the one to suggest it first.

I look back at the friends I lost, and those that just kind of drifted away and I wonder what I could have or should have done differently. I do understand and believe that people come into your life for a season, a reason or a lifetime, but sometimes its hard to understand why there are not more lifetime friends. I honestly never thought there would be a day when I craved friendship so much, especially when I am surrounded by so many people that two years ago I would have called friends. So with the topic of accountability, we were advised to pray about it. To think of who we might be able to have that special relationship with. Again, it scares me, I would love to have that, but cannot help but feel like who would want me. So any takers? (I kid, kind of).

WastedDay.

My husband and I have big dreams of heading to Europe in the spring. We are wishing and hoping and praying that it actually works out. We have asked for our necessities for christmas and have done our research on what is needed and required for doing a two to three week backpacking trip through Europe.

I sent the Christmas list to my mom and a few minutes later I received an email about a store closing in London that had up to 73% off and specialized in outdoor and travel equipment. I checked out the website and did some price comparison and figured if the equipment was on sale it would be worth checking out. The next day my mom brought the flyer in for me to check out and I knew I must go. A 35L backpack, half price! I was excited.

My husband and I then got into planning mode. We tried to figure out when I should hit up the sale. What made the most sense money wise, would the pay off be better then the loss. The options were I call in sick for work and then head to the store, get there before it opens and know that if they have what I want on sale, I am going to get the best price and get what I want. Or, wait until after work, drive the hour and a half to the store and hope they have what I am looking for and that I can find it in an hour before the store closed.

Our hopes were to save about a hundred dollars per backpack (they retail for about $260) and then if we considered the other items on our wish list the days savings were in the hundreds. So after much contemplation, I called in sick and was off to London. I got to the store a half hour ahead of time and the line was already down the street, around the corner and down the street again. This made me excited because clearly it must be a good sale. People were excited.

I stood in line for over two hours before getting into the store. My toes were numb (I did not dress to stand outside for two hours), my snacks were in the car, my phone was almost dead and my patience were wearing thin.

I do not think my excitement could have dropped any faster then when I got into the store. The sales were TERRIBLE! 15% off most items. Backpacks only 20$ off. It was heart breaking. I found a few ok finds as I knew what the price was for the item online, but I was disappointed  I wasted not only a day of work, but also three hours of my life I cannot get back.

The experience taught me something however, I am never calling in sick again, unless I am actually sick. There were news crews there and people taking pictures so I felt guilty and feared getting caught. It was not worth it and now that I think of it, I don't know what is worth calling in sick for other then an emergency and being sick. I am never again wasting it to go shopping. On the other hand however, I would have been left wondering if I had been there earlier if I would have gotten a better deal, so for that I am happy.

Everything about today is eating at me. I am stressed and upset and exhausted from being so stressed and upset. So that was my terrible day and advice on never skipping work.

Alyssa.

Alyssa and I have been friends since she moved to Chatham in the third grade. We went to the same elementary school, played soccer together, went to summer camp together and even both switched schools to join the extended french program together. I don't know when it happened, but somewhere along the way she became one of my closest and dearest friends. We bonded deeply in high school over our love of curling and boys, we coached summer soccer together and she even came out to youth group with me one weekend after some, lets just say misfoutunate events.


I had the joy of watching Alyssa give her life over to Christ and watch how the decision has changed her. I also had the priviledge of being at the hospital when Alyssa gave birth to her precious son and I am forever thankful that she allowed me to be a part of such a magical day, a day I will never forget.

Alyssa is a deep thinker, a board game wizard, a fantastic mother and on Saturday I had the wonderful oportunity of witnessing her marry her prince charming. She was a stunning bride and I could not help but cry multiple times throughout the day.

To be honest, I entered into the wedding with mixed feelings. When I got the news of the engagement from at text from Alyssa one day at work I was so excited I actually started squeeling and then spent the remaider of the day boring my coworker about how excited I was (sorry!). She had been so patient, trusting in God in every step of her relationship and her life even when it was not always the easiest, so when I heard the news that FINALLY (yes, we waited and hoped and knew there was a ring and kept on waiting) she was engaged I was over the moon for her.

Then life, as it always does, got a little messy and I was there as she vented, was frustrated and had the joys of not only planning a wedding (read: stressful), but plan one in four months. We had fun at showers, putting on panty hose with oven mitts, painting granny panties and making toilet paper dresses.

Then in came the wedding dress. (Background: when I was picking a wedding dress I got it down to two, and had the hardest time ever trying to make up my mind as to what one I actually wanted. In the end I still was not sure I made the right choice. I loved it the day of the wedding but I always had this feeling of 'what-if' about the other dress.) So I got a text late one Saturday night from Alyssa all excited that she had found the dress and there was something inside of me that made me think it was the 'Rachel' (No I didn't name it, that is the dresses name, and what my bridesmaids and I affectionately called it). She gave me brief details of the dress and promised a picture the next morning at church. I tried my best to be happy as the dress was, as I suspected, the 'Rachel'. If I was honest with myself at that moment however, I was upset, I was sad that I didn't get to be the one wearing the dress and I could not help but feel I made the wrong decision. I tried to put it out of my mind but as the wedding day approached I feared how I would react to seeing someone else in the dress I loved. 

The moment I saw Alyssa step through the doors at the church to make her way down the aisle I knew it all worked out for a reason. Alyssa looked stunning. The dress fit her perfectly and as she smiled with her father on one side and her adorable little son on the other I could not be happier. I wiped away a tear and laughed inside because I did not know how I could be so petty to think I would be upset over a dress. It thrilled me that someone I loved was able to wear the dress that I also loved. I did not wear it so why not have one of my favourite people wear it. 

Alyssa smiled the day away and her handsom groom could not take his eyes off of her. It was a beautiful picture as two people came together to form a family. I cannot wait to see what the future has in store for their family and where God will take them. I am thankful for being able to be a part of their day and more then anything, I am thankful for their friendship and love. 

Alyssa and I at Prom 2006. 

High school curling team 2006.

Alyssa and I at Brier 2007. 

Logan's Birth 2009.

Alyssa, her father and son Logan walking her down the aisle. 

First Kiss.

Bridesmaid (Michelle) and Groomsmen (Iain, Alyssa's Brother and one of the groomsmen in my wedding) dancing down the aisle. (love them!)

One of my favourite families. Proud parents. 

The first wedding we have attended as husband and wife. Loved it.

SantaClauseParade.

I know that the holidays are going to continuously be betting more exciting with our family. As Little Miss keeps growing she is getting more fun then imaginable. Friday we went to the Santa Clause parade with her parents and she loved every minute. From the marching band and the sirens on the ambulance. Each time a float would pass Little Miss would sign and ask for 'more' continuously  Then when that was not working she would start to say 'please'. It was adorable and she wouldn't look away. She bounced to the music and wanted so bad to go out and touch everything. It was her joy that made me enjoy it. It was cold and way too long (2 hours of crap is too long Chatham!), but because of her joy I loved that I was able to witness Little Miss loving the parade and trying to say 'SeSe' (Santa) and 'TeTe' (also Santa). Love her!

On the other hand however, the Chatham Santa Clause parade needs to do a bit of editing. There were so many convertibles with random people playing Christmas music, and they were not even nice cars, they need to go. Also, the gaps, they were WAY too big and too frequently. If you can no longer see anyone coming or the people who just pasted, its too big of a gap. So those are my suggestions. Plus, two hours is about an hour too long when there were like four good floats/things. But Little Miss had fun and that's what matters. 

Little Miss was just way too into the parade to even bother looking at the camera.

BridalBrunch.

With the wedding of the beautiful Alyssa this past weekend, I had the privilege of being a part of it by providing her, her bridesmaids and wedding day helpers with an early (read: true love for Alyssa to be up that early on a Saturday) morning brunch.

I had offered to help Alyssa with whatever she might need and suggested that if no one else was making her a breakfast, I could take one more thing off of her plate and do it for  her. On my wedding day friends of mine prepared a wonderfully delicious breakfast for us and it was such a wonderful gift. It was one less thing to stress over and one less thing for my family or bridesmaids to take care of.

I found out that the brunch was a go Thursday evening when I got home from Alyssa's Bachelorette Breaking Dawn movie premier (ensue the stress) and I then went straight to the planning. Pinterest was a life saver and I was able to come up with a number of different ideas of what to make and with the help of the husband I was able to edit it down to making just a few mini bite size brunch ideas.

So Friday consisted of working 9 hours, planning what to make, making a grocery list, watching the Santa Clause parade with the Little Miss, buying groceries  picking the husband up at the train station and staying up until 2am to bake. In the end I was pleased with the results and from the feedback from the wedding party the food was a hit.

The menu consisted of fruit skewers, bacon and cheddar scones (receipt here, except I lightly rolled in balls and put in muffin tins to cook), 8 minute mini cinnamon rolls (I roughly followed this receipt), mini blueberry muffins, yogurt parfaits  orange-cranberry punch and store bought (I know shame, but I got lazy when it was 930 and I was just then getting groceries) mini doughnuts.

So in about 3 hours of baking (thank you husband for the help before you went to play video games) and 0 hours of cleaning, I was able to make a hot mess of the kitchen and what I would like to think was a pretty kick butt brunch, for a pretty kick butt lady.

Internet!

You do not know how much you miss having the internet until it is gone.

I have been living for the past week and a half with only my cell phone for internet. One would think this is sufficient, and it is kind of sad how much I have come to depend upon the internet for my everyday life, but I truly was missing having my computer.

On a typically day, I wake up and listen to the local radio station online and at times the Country station from Hamilton that I have grown to love. I then use the computer for a little bit of everything from blogging, facebooking, shopping and job applications. Not to mention we do not have cable, our TV is not yet hooked up and my computer does not have a disc drive. Therefore, I watch Netflix and other TV shows online, and I LOVE my TV show.

So after having my brother meet the internet guy who was supposed to call ahead of time and didn't, and after my having to replace the co-auxiliary face plate (I am calling it this, but I have no idea what I did or how I managed to do it, but I feel pretty proud of myself for being successful), I now have internet!

Oh the joys of moving. With internet successfully hooked up, we are onto flooring today. So the hopes are, I head home after work (before going to see Breaking Dawn Part 2!!!) and there should be a brand new shinny floor all across my apartment. Exciting things in the Hartford home!

Alone.

I tried my hardest not to cry the first night Brent left. I was thankful to be staying with a friend for a few days so I wasn't alone. Simply sleeping in a bed alone was new. Since being married a year and a half ago Brent and I have spent one night apart. I don't think I knew right away just how hard it would be to be working in different cities. I am now moved into what is supposed to be our apartment and the more time I spend there, the more nights I go home from work to an empty apartment, I cannot help but feel more alone then I have in a long time.

Brent is in Vaughan and I am in Chatham throughout the week. On weekends he comes home to Chatham and I would like to say that all is wonderful and magical, but to be honest it is harder then we thought. For me it took a lot to fall into being married. To having things that were 'mine' and having them not be where I left them. To be considerate of someone else when I went to get groceries  or when I wanted to just watch Gilmore Girls all day and night for weeks straight (yes Brent puts his foot down on this sometimes, and it was hard for me to handle). We then fell into a place of living together, we took on roles like he cooked and washed the cutlery and I did the laundry and general house cleaning. Brent took out the garbage and I got the groceries  It was wonderful, it worked. Obviously these things were not set in stone, but we enjoyed the roles we took on and everything worked.

Now however, with me being alone in an apartment for the first time ever! Yes, I went from my parents house, to having room mates in university, back to my parents house and then to a house with my husband. As a result, there may currently be a bag of garbage sitting at the door and I only have one knife left clean. I know I have to do these things myself. That I cannot wait for Brent to come home on Saturday and help me.  I want life to be normal with Brent on the weekends, but it's hard for life to be normal when it is only two nights and there is so much you want to do.

I never thought I would miss him like this. I never thought I would not be able to deal with the noises I hear at night and the idea of going home to an empty apartment. Brent and I did long distance our entire dating and engaged relationship except for the odd month during a summer here and there. We longed for the weekends together and we were able to in many ways stop life and enjoy our time together. Now however it doesn't work like that. With my new job I will be working every other Saturday and with our new apartment it feels like there is always something that can be done.

The light at the end of the long distance tunnel for us is Europe (hopefully in the spring) and work experience. The more wonderful work experience we get the closer we are to a full time job. The closer we are to a full time job means the closer we are to maybe one day having jobs in our field, that we love, ideally in Chatham. For now however, I am learning to live on my own.  I will get over my hatred for washing cutlery and hopefully be able to enjoy the time Brent and I get to spend together instead of being sad about what Sunday night holds.We are praying and hoping that in the end we are stronger in our relationship and better for it.

Red.

So I just want red lips. Taylor Swift type red lips. 

Like this. 

Source.

I have been trying everything and failing big time. Zellers currently is closing in town, and that means sales. I have waited and waited for the prices to be right and finally the cosmetics were down to 50 percent off, which meant I was willing to buy some bright red lipstick. A look I have been drying to try, and yes my love of Taylor Swift may play a part in that. Anyways I went with the CoverGirl Outlast lip stain in 425. When first put on it looks great, However, as the day goes on, and by day I mean like an hour later, it tends to just accentuate all of your lips flaws. So if there are areas with a groove or anything along those lines, you lips are no longer a perfect pouty red. I then bought, also by CoverGirl a natural lip colour in a similar shade of red (250 Cabernet), in hopes that it would go over the stain and everything would work out. Nope. I didn't read it carefully enough and in the end it is more of a heavy lip balm then a lip stick. Which I am starting to like just on its own to add a punch. 

After two failures, I figured it was time to call in the big guns. Yes Pinterest. I don't know why I did not start there sooner. I now know what I need to buy next time I see it on sale and I will soon have the red lips I am striving for. 

Thus far however, what I have works if I remember to reapply and not lick my lips. I even received a compliment at church. I am not convinced if I can pull it off as both my brother and sister in law laughed at me, but I am going to keep trying. 

What do you think? Too much?

(Now as I post the pictures in the same article I realize that my red is no where near Taylor red. O well, I  kind of like it.)

Pumpkins&PlayDough

Monday was my last day off before starting work again. It was my last day of watching little Miss Jemma for potentially a while and so we decided to have an adventure, well I decided and she is a baby so she went along with it. It was freezing cold outside and raining which resulted in no outdoor play. I came prepared for indoor adventures.

We carved a pumpkin and made homemade play dough. It was a lot of fun and kept us busy. Miss Jemma loved every minute of it and I enjoyed spending time with my favourite little girl.

To carve pumplins I figured it needed to result in as little and quick of clean up as possible. I laid out a sheet on the living room floor and while watching a recording of Taylor Swift on Katie. I cut the top off, hid the knife and we went to town. Jemma loved pulling the guts out and then putting random objects back into the pumpkin saying 'uh-oh' and then reaching in and taking them back out. She also loved putting the top of them pumpkin back on perfectly. It was all a lot of fun, minus the eating of the pumpkin guts that Miss Jemma kept doing, it was fun and totally within her abilities. When finished we simply put the pumpkin outside and rolled up the dirty sheet.

Flowing the dancing to Taylor Swift and carving a pumpkin we concluded our afternoon with making play dough. This activity did not go as planned, but the end result was still fun. With Little Miss standing on a chair I tried to get her to help and stir in some of the ingredients  which she really couldn't grasp and just wanted to throw it around. This was followed by me not being able to find the salt, which turns out if you want the play dough to last more then a day, is needed. So we made it without salt and Miss J had fun smushing the end product. I am sad it didn't last, but it was so easy to make and was so fun to play with I am totally going to be making more of this with Jemma in the years to come.

Here is the recipe I used for the play dough (thank you Pinterest). Just remember, don't try substituting sugar for salt. It totally doesn't work. The play dough then becomes kind of wet in the following days. Also, the more food colouring, the cooler the colour. Try it out.