Soccer.

So tonight I signed up for summer soccer. This was a hard decision for me for a number of reasons and even now that I have signed up I still cannot help but feel apprehensive about my decision.

I debated between rugby and soccer and in the end soccer won out. I have always loved rugby, but I fear with being out of shape that I will injure myself. Also, the time commitment is at least triple which I am not sure I am ready for either. So if this year goes well, maybe I will be in rugby shape next.

I am nervous for soccer first off because I have not played soccer in four years, a lot has changed in four years. Then again, when I did play four years ago it was not so much fun. I quite soccer half way throught high school due to the unneeded stress it was causing me. At the time I played travel, house league and reffereed, I was on the soccer field usually at least 5 times a week. The drama and polititcs got to me and when I quite I actually did not miss it. I took up coaching the following year, which I loved, but brought on other stress that again I could not handle. I played one year of women's soccer after my second year of university and again it was not a wonderful experience. I had a team that was competitive, I was just there for fun, I was stuck playing goalie and I could not handle the stress yet again. I lasted half a season before happily having to quite to move up north for work. That following year at school however I played indoor soccer with a wonderful group of girls. The game times were terribly late, and the commute home after via city transit in the freezing cold sucked, however it was actually fun. So I think for what I want to get out of summer soccer I need to hope that I get on a team that just wants to have fun and who are nice.

Another fear of mine is that I am out of shape. I was running daily before the wedding and have done the occasional run and workout video since then, but I am out of shape. This scares me. Mixed with the fact that I just want to have fun, I know I will not be the best out there, but it would be nice to be able to keep up. A part of me is excited that this will encourage me to get out and a bit more active and also it will be guarenteed physcial activity for me if nothing else.

The big question is did I waste my money. Will I even be around for the entire summer or will I find a job elsewhere? This is what has been keeping me from participating in a number of activities that I have wanted to over the past two years. Had I know this winter or last that I would be in Chatham for the entire winter I would have loved to play ringette or curl, but there was never a guarantee  Currently however, the husband just got a one year contract close to town, so if I find work the odds are high that I will be able to play the entire season.

On the other hand however, I once upon a time actually love the sport and have had some wonderful experiences playing. I have played since I was like 4, I refereed a number of years and coached even more. I would love to love something again. So here is to hoping that this season works out, that my teammates are nice and that we can enjoy the game and not focus on winning. That I can go out there and have fun, that I will not stress over it and enjoy myself. So we will see what this summer holds.