Wife.

So I have been married just over a year (June 18th, 2011) and I have a confession to make, I am still not the greatest at this whole 'wife' thing. Married life is great, but it really does show you your imperfections smack dab in the face. We are selfish people and I am by no means an exception. God however has blessed me with an extremely giving and caring husband that he makes my life so much easier.

I am learning to put my husband first and slowly but surly God is working in my heart. Last night I went grocery shopping and did something I actually never do and I felt so guilty that I have never done this before, I actually shopped with the thought process of 'What would Brent want?'. Typically I get what we both like, or what is healthiest even if I know he doesn't like it or that he has a different preference and is compromising for me. He compromises a lot in our relationship and I realise I am so head strong and stubborn I do not like to give in. So this was a simple way that I was able to serve him. I refrained from buying whole wheat pasta because I know he does not like it. I got him some gelato because he likes that over ice cream, I bought skim milk instead of 1%, spicy red pepper pasta sauce and I even searched the selves for high pulp orange juice. I enjoyed doing this and it made me happy to know he would be excited when he got home from work.

I know I need to serve him more, I need to be more attentive and uplifting to him. These things are not easy and anyone who says it is easy I would have to say is lying. We live in a society where we are taught to put yourself first, to make sure you get the best and I think I for one am extremely bad at that. I always want the bigger piece or the nicest looking one, given the choice I will always take what is best, and yes, even when it is just between my husband and I. Maybe that is my competitive side coming out, its ugly, trust me.

So I don't have this wife thing figured out, but I am working on it, I am learning and growing and trying my best. I knew I would never fall into being your typical domestic type wife, but I am shocked at what chores I adore doing. I love buying the simple household items like toothbrushes and deodorant, and baking, I have become passionate about baking. If only it wasn't bad for your I would do that a lot more.

It is not always easy, but I do believe that self sacrifice and trying hard are key components to growing in our marriage.

Disaster.

So we moved to Mississauga in May. The apartment is small. We are almost never home on a weekend. I work outside most days and am exhausted when I get home. Brent's days due to commuting are almost 12 hours. Due to this combination the result is a disastrous apartment.

We try our best to keep it clean. I am obsessed with organization, but with the little storage and lack of space it is next to impossible.

Our sink is just one small sink with a faucet that is not nice (I get soaked every time I do dishes). As a result, the dishes sit for days, and I will confess, sometimes we only do them when we run out of something and then it becomes a huge ordeal. We are talking multiple loads to hand wash.

I had high hopes when we first moved in, now however due to our utter destine for the apartment we treat it as such and it is not a place we ever want to come home to.

I have been trying to change that lately and I think the next few weeks with me working in the office most days, a lot more will get done around the house. I am one who loves to make to do lists and feel so accomplished when I am able to cross something off.

Tonight's 'to do' list is long, and I cannot wait to finish everything (weird right?). Tuesday is laundry day in our house, not by choice but by only getting the machine one day a week. So I will be doing about 5 or 6 loads of laundry due to camping. I also get groceries the first work day of the week (so typically Monday, but due to the holiday yesterday I will be getting them today). I also hope to do a load of dishes, put away our camping gear and washing the floors.

We will see how it goes with this lofty list of things to do, but if it all gets done, who knows we may actually be one step closer to hosting company on Friday night. We also do well with deadlines and company is always a reason to clean in our house. So here is fingers crossed that tomorrow I will not feel like we are living in a war zone.

Side note: As writing this my favourite chap stick just broke, and like hardcore, no fixing kind of broke. Not impressed, and I was so close to finishing it before I lost it which NEVER happens.

Work.

So I love my job. I hate waking up in the morning and I am not sure if I will ever get used to that part, but I actually love what I am doing.

I started here in May and when I interviewed for the position it was supposed to be an 8 month contract with the possibility of extension. When they called to let me know I was the successful candidate they also informed me that there was a 'snag' in the contract. it now would only go until the end of September, but they had already put in the request for my contract to be extended an extra 3 months.

I accepted the position knowing I could not possibly turn down a position in my field. So we had a week to find a place to live, to pack and to move. We picked the 'best of the worst' apartments, which turns out isn't that great. (You can read more about that here.)

Bad apartment aside and the rush and stress of moving, I LOVE my job! It is right in my field, doing what I find interesting and having enough work to keep me super busy at times. I love it, and I love the feeling of loving going to work.

About a month ago however the bad news came. My company is laying off all casual staff at the end of September and no contracts will be renewed. This being my contract. So the job now will only last until the end of September. The news was hard, especially for the other members of my team who have been there between 2 and 4 years. They were on one year contracts that got renewed each January and I had hopped that would be what I would get as well. So the end of September actually will mean an end to our program in general.

As a result of this bad news the summer at work has be busy. My schedule is full of lots of interesting field work.

Today for example I walked through a conservation area mapping various items. Does it get any better than that?

At the end of most days I am exhausted from being outside all day and working hard, but I think that is worth loving what I do.

Also, did I mention I have great coworkers? I think that adds to the enjoyment, but I have people that in the past three months I have really connected with, that I have started to share my life with and theirs with me and it makes it a joy to go to work.

So in conclusion I LOVE my job!  Now all I have to do is find another job I love for the end of September, please be praying.

Princess.

Confession. I miss Chatham. I miss my friends, I miss my church, I miss knowing where I am going and where to find everything. I miss the small town feel, I miss having things to do and people to see but most of all I miss my beautiful niece.

I call her my best friend. Not that she knows what a best friend is. She does know I love her though, and I know she feels the same for me.

She looks for me hiding behind the tablet when we skype and then proceeds to give the screen kiss after kiss. She gets excited when I come home and is calmed when I pick her up. She smiles when I get her up from a nap and giggles when I sing songs with her.

I miss getting to spend every day with her and getting to see every stage of her life. We now live with too short of weekend visits and five minute skype dates (which is forever for a 14 month old).

She is growing and changing every day and I am sad not to spend it with her, but I do thank God that I get to play a part in this wonderful baby girls life. Also, it helps me not want kids of my own yet which makes my husband extremely happy.

She is my best friend, my princess, my tootsie and in my opinion the best niece in the world (yes I only have one!)

Camping in the Spring 2012. 

Swinging at the park. (spring 2012)

Back.

So I have decided to pick this up again. I think I fail at the whole commitment thing. This time however so I do not become completely submersed in the writing of a blog and forget everything else and then just as quickly become bored, I am not going to attempt (and fail again) at being like the bloggers I love to read and blog everyday. I am going to simply blog when I have time to blog, when I feel the need to share a life moment and keep it as simple as that. I have no desire to make money from this blog or to become a roaring success, I honestly am writing this simply to write. To keep myself busy and to document my life. So I am sorry for the super long break and I am going to try and be better.